What Do I Do with Tim Now?

Hollace Abrahms, Mary Anne Lecos, Shirly Raines, Lucille Sorenson, Kenena Spaulding, Paula Treiber, and Pamela von Bredow

Mary Pappas was at her wit’s end. And it was Tim again—always Tim who was driving her there. Mary, gentle and soft spoken, was in her first teaching assignment, having taken over in January for a teacher on maternity leave. The two teachers’ styles of teaching were very different, and the former had left behind a legacy of children with poor behavior. Mary had an opportunity to observe the class before taking it over, and she had seen children crawling on the floor, jabbing each other with open paper clips, and no one working quietly. She had also heard unkind comments back and forth, as well as children voicing interest in topics well beyond their years.

Even as a first year teacher, Mary felt she needed to change many of the behaviors she was seeing, for the educational good of the children and for her own survival. She also believed that the administration would approve of such changes. Comments made to her by other teachers indicated that the children’s poor behavior had not gone unnoticed by faculty and administration alike.

So, she began her first week of teaching by firmly, but gently, introducing changes in the classroom rules. The children were to sit in their seats, work quietly, speak kindly, and never ever open up a paper clip to use as a weapon. She introduced age-appropriate activities (stories, songs, and poems), and did not allow the salacious joking that she had heard while she was observing the class.

The road was not an easy one for Mary, however. The children had become quite entrenched in their wayward behavior and were not interested in changing it for someone they did not know. They tested her rules, continued to crawl about the room, and laughed at her stories and poetry. Children who should have been good students had drifted into apathy and were quite content to stay there. It did not take Mary long to realize, as well, that five or six of the children in the class seemed to have severe learning difficulties.

Upon looking into the matter, she discovered that they had never been referred for a special evaluation of any kind.

Drifting on and off of center stage, with this classroom as a backdrop, was Tim, a child with a difficult home life and little self-confidence. His working parents saw him for about one hour of each day. For the rest of the time, he was at a childcare center or at school. Mary remembered watching Tim misbehave when she observed in the classroom, so she knew that his poor behavior was a continuation of former habits, not something new put on for her benefit. The first few days she taught, he had started out by crying as he said, “I’m no good. I’m stupid. I can’t do this work.”

When a parent conference elicited little or no change in Tim’s work habits, Mary insisted that he try to do his work. His self-pity then turned to anger toward Mary. “I’m going to kill you,” he yelled. “I hate you, and I’m going to kill you.”

Tim had a store of expletives, and he tried them all. He also threw chairs, and, several times, turned over his desk, spilling its contents all over the floor. Mary realized that this behavior was out of bounds, and with the approval of the school counselor, decided to refer Tim for possible ED (Emotionally Disabled) services. When she called Tim’s parents to apprise them of this fact and to invite them to the meeting, she received icy coldness from their end of the line.

“This didn’t happen with Mrs. Farmer,” was all his mother said.

Mary realized that she would receive little or no help from Tim’s parents. In fact, she felt their hostility toward her was growing. It stung that she, who cared enough for Tim to try to work through his problems, was being blamed for a situation she had inherited and not one she created. “This didn’t happen with Mrs. Farmer,” kept going through her mind, although she knew otherwise.

The screening committee date was set, and Mary was notified that Tim was on the schedule. His parents had the communication also, and they would be attending the meeting. Mary decided to go on with the week’s activities and continued to write down her observations of Tim’s behaviors so that she would be prepared for the screening committee.

It was Friday afternoon. She had promised the class a party if they received 20 unsolicited compliments over a period of weeks. Plans were made and nothing remained but to wait for the two o’clock party time.

Early in the afternoon, Tim began to test the limits. He refused to take a spelling test, then tore his paper into little pieces and put them into the wastebasket ceremoniously. He stood up with a sneer on his face, when he should have been sitting. Then he swiveled his hips suggestively. He hung across the seat of his chair upside down, flipping bits of crayon and pencil in every direction. No matter what Mary said, he did not change his attitude or his behavior.

What am I to do? He’s calling my bluff and he is only in first grade, but knows better and he is doing these things to see my reactions. What am I going to do with Tim now?

Mary Pappas did not allow Tim to attend the class party. After corroborating her decision with the school counselor, she sent Tim to the office for the time of the party and discussed with him afterwards the reasons for her action. Tim was angry, but Mary maintained a calm, quiet posture.

Before the screening committee met to evaluate Tim’s behavior, Mary shared her concerns with the principal. She explained why Tim was being referred for services and

that the parents would probably lay the blame on Mary. At the committee meeting, when Tim’s mother said, “He never behaved this way for Mrs. Farmer,” the principal said, “Oh, but Mrs. Farmer talked to me about Tim’s behavior several times.” This adroit statement by a perceptive and supportive administrator took the onus from Mary and put it where it belonged. It became Tim’s and his parents’ responsibilities to face his misbehavior, which they did.

It was not magical, but there was a perceptible change in Tim’s classroom behavior from that point until the end of the year. And on the last day of school, when Mary assigned the topic “Who I Am” as a writing assignment, Tim wrote, “I can run. I can read. I am me.”

Mary’s classroom also began to bond together and with her. By March, Mary felt that the children were really hers and that a mutual love and respect had begun to develop. She attributed this to hard work, genuine caring, a sense of humor, consistency, and an attitude of never giving up on the children (and there were days when it might have been tempting to give it all up).

Between January and May, five children were screened for particular needs, three of whom were found eligible for special services delivered within the classroom. The other two were put on the list of those to continue monitoring. Mary benefited from what she learned during the screening process.

The school principal, counselor, and other specialists remained supportive throughout the year, adding strength and credence to the values Mary worked to instill in the children.

The class had an excellent kindergarten background; consequently, Mary was able to reinstate familiar and comfortable patterns of appropriate behavior.

Before the end of the year, Mary realized that her students had become children again, with a genuine enjoyment of age-appropriate activities and an active concern for one another. They had settled into learning activities with enthusiasm and had developed their respect for school and for authority.

The next year, Tim settled into second grade more easily. He received services for his learning disabilities, a condition suspected in first grade but impossible to verify because of his extreme anger and refusal to cooperate with the child study team. He was more cheerful and interacted positively with his friends and teacher. He occasionally stopped by Mary’s room “Just to say hello.”

Questions:

1. What behavioral approaches did Mary try with her classroom and Tim?

2. What other behavioral approaches would you suggest for this classroom? Make a list of suggestions.
3. What might have happened if Mary had allowed Tim to attend the party?

4. List the responsibilities of each of the following in preparation for the screening committee meeting: Mary, counselor, principal, parents.

5. What effect does Mary’s teaching style have on the way she handles her new class? On the way she handles Tim?

6. How would you handle a situation where a parent refused to recognize that his or her child had a discipline issue?